When Caught Between “Blah” and “Meh”
By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea Even though we knew this was coming, it doesn’t make it any easier. The weather is getting colder and the days are getting shorter…
By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
As we start a new school year, social groups have also begun and we start off by asking kids what would they like to improve on in this school year. One teen girl admitted that she would like to learn how to tell when she should stop talking. She’s not aware of the nonverbal cues the listener might be giving.
1. Assess the listeners interest in the topic – if someone loves Harry Potter and wants to talk about it in great detail, the first step is to find out how interested the other person is in Harry Potter. The amount of discussion on a a topic should match the level of interest of the other person.
2. Give a summary and then see if more information is needed – people who like to talk a lot tend to give many more details than are necessary for the story. Some of this can be driven by and OCD-like need to include all the parts of a story. Pre-think the key points and tell only those, then stop and see if the other person asks for more details.
3. Watch for signs of boredom – facial expressions, leaning away, becoming fidgety are all signs that someone is getting bored.
4. Remember to listen – the old saying “you have two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you speak” has merit. If you realize that you have been talking for a while and the other person isn’t, then it’s time to stop and give them space to add to the conversation.
Conversation skills take practice and there will be times when you realize that you’ve been doing a lot of talking. It’s completely fine to say, “oh gosh, I just realized that I am yakking away over here and haven’t asked about you! What do you think?”
