Here’s what kids with ADHD aren’t – Coaching Instead of Consequences;
by Nadine Briggs
When kids with ADHD wake every morning, here are some phrases they don’t say to themselves as they start their day:
“I can’t wait to be as annoying as possible today.”
“I need to make sure I tell jokes too many times to see if people laugh.”
“I am going to deliberately not get my work done so my parents get very angry with me.”
“I’m going to be late getting out of bed so I’m late for school to see what people do.”
“I’m going to speak every thought without using any of my filters.”
“I’m going to be ‘too much’ to everyone all day long.”
“I’m going to not pay attention when teachers give directions.”
“I’m super excited to ignore all social cues today!”
“I’m going to spend the entire day thinking about things that only entertain me and no one else.”
“I cannot wait to add topics that no one else is talking about to conversations.”
Kids with ADHD might exhibit some or all of these behaviors but it’s not on purpose. It’s not their intent. They try and try and to please and get along with others. The negative consequences of their behavior are unintended, unwanted and, usually not even anticipated by them.
I know this because my (now adult) son struggled with these same thoughts, behaviors and consequences until I learned to coach him through it.
Kids with impulsive behavior associated with ADHD need coaching, not consequences. They need to know that we believe in them. They need to know that we believe in their true intents. And they need to know that we can help them learn better practices for happier lives.
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If you think your child or teen could use social resiliency coaching, contact us at 978-764-2758.