By Donna Shea
As our kids head back to school, it’s time to make sure education plans are reviewed, ready to go and to make sure that everyone is on board with starting the new year off on the right foot. Personally, I found that making a copy of my son’s 504 Plan or IEP and making sure that each year I provided the classroom teacher with that copy, made me feel more secure that the teacher was aware that my son had a plan. It’s not that I do not trust the process and it’s not a blame thing, but it happened more than once that the paperwork didn’t make it to the next grade.
When I talk to parents about school related social challenges, they are frequently surprised that the school is not only responsible for academic support, but for social and emotional support as well.
For a child with a diagnosed disability, we make sure that we suggest to his or her parent that he or she have one or more social goals in his education plan each year. Appropriate social goals depend on the age of a child, and may include:
Preschool – Teach interactive play skills, sharing, turn taking, and how to ask to play. Introduce elimination games such as tag or musical chairs.
Kindergarten – Third Grade – Access recess; teach jump rope songs or the rules for four square, or whatever popular games are being played by peers. Include strategies for how to handle a situation when kids do not play fairly (for example, review the rules, use “I-based language”).
Fourth – Fifth Grade – Prepare your child with strategies for how to handle a situation when social language is confusing for him. Learn idioms so that he understands not to take those phrases literally.
Middle School (Sixth – Eighth Grade) – How to defend and/or deflect negativity, managing strong feelings, self-esteem and empowerment, blending in to the social culture, online social media safety, and texting.
High School – Blending in to the social culture; managing strong feelings; self-esteem and empowerment; online social media safety; texting, dating and relationships; and social skills needed for educational opportunities post high school and employment.
With that being said, we can’t expect schools to provide everything. In my experience, social goals at school may be mainly focused on the skills needed to participate in a classroom setting (raising your hand, not blurting out, working in small groups, etc.). Adding an outside social skills group (as you might add private Speech or OT) can be immensely helpful for kids to practice those skills and more. And as Nadine and I have found, the added bonus of discovering real friendships outside of school.
All of our tips on how to help your child attain, maintain and sustain lasting friendships can be found in our parent book available on Amazon. Click on the book image for more information!
