Master Positive Body Language: The SOFTEN Technique
When kids play, you will often hear the phrase, "I have a better idea." Check out our quick tip for when ideas differ.
Thanksgiving is a time for togetherness, but for kids with ADHD, anxiety, or sensory sensitivities, large family gatherings can feel overwhelming. From unfamiliar faces to new routines, the demands of the day can lead to stress, meltdowns, or withdrawal. With some thoughtful preparation, you can help your child—and yourself—enjoy the holiday with less stress.
Talk with your child beforehand about what to expect. Share who will be there, what the day might look like, and how long you plan to stay. The more your child knows what to expect, the less anxiety they will have about the day.
Bring along anything your child might need for comfort and regulation. A calming kit with favorite items like a stuffed animal, sensory toy, or coloring materials can work wonders. Don’t forget practical items like snacks, special dietary items, or even a bottle of ketchup if that’s your child’s must-have (trust me, it’s better to be prepared!).
While setting expectations can let you child know how to behave at a family gathering, it’s best to be flexible regarding those expectations. It’s okay to let some things slide—if they only want to eat dinner rolls, its fine for just one day. If they need feedback from you, please be discreet and kind.
If your child starts to feel overwhelmed, step away with them to a quiet space. Treat this as you would at home, without worrying about judgment from others. A brief reset can help them rejoin the group when they’re ready.
Children should understand from an early age that affection, like hugs, should always be a mutual choice. Forcing a child to show affection when they’re uncomfortable can send the harmful message that their boundaries don’t matter. Instead, encourage kids to express affection in ways that feel right for them, fostering respect for their own and others’ personal space.
Family members may have opinions about your child’s behavior. Smile, thank them for their input, and do what you know is best for your child. You are their expert and advocate, and your calm confidence will help everyone feel more at ease.
With a little planning, patience, and flexibility, Thanksgiving can be a day of connection and gratitude—for everyone, including your child. After all, the most important part of the holiday is spending time together, on your own terms.
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