Your Nine (Yes, Just 9) Seconds Could Save a Life
By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs For the kids that attend our centers, bullying is an on-going concern. Lately, it feels to us that bullying is GROWING at an alarming…
By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs
In coaching kids who sadly find themselves being on the receiving end of mean teasing, the most important lesson that we can give them is to be like an orange (yes, the fruit). We teach or remind kids that someone who is teasing them or saying mean things to them is looking for something specific – a big, juicy reaction. If that reaction happens, it is a pay-off for the kid or kids who are being mean and gives them a feeling of power. The likelihood that it will happen again and repeatedly to that reactive child greatly increases. Kids figure out as early as pre-school and kindergarten who they can easily make cry.
So now that a child knows what the verbal meanies want, what should they do about it? The answer is, turn into an orange. An orange has a tough rind on the outside, that protects the juicy and sweet inside. By no means are we telling kids not to feel their hurt feelings or sadness, but we strongly encourage kids to never let the juicy interior show in a situation where they are being teased or taunted. We tell kids that they need to keep that tough skin on for protection in the presence of meanness, and never let the meanie get the best of them. Then we encourage them to let those feelings out in a place that is safe; at home with parents, in the guidance office, or even the restroom if they can handle it themselves by taking a break and some deep breaths.
Kids can also be armed with some comeback lines to use if someone is teasing, taunting or being mean. Here are some ideas and you can encourage your child to come up with some of their own:
So what happens in a meanie situation if a child keeps a tough outer layer and demonstrates emotional resilience? Nothing. And that’s exactly what we want to happen.
