It is More Important That I Listen
By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs I (Donna) just finished reading the book “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. This quote she used from a parent…
Walk Strong. Talk Strong.
How a person feels about his or her self is evident by the way he or she walks and talks publicly. Our bodies and voices are broadcasting our inner feelings without us being aware of the messages we are sending. When we visit schools and present workshops to classrooms for our bullying prevention program, we explain to kids the importance of walking and talking strong. We role-play with kids exactly what walking and talking strong looks and feels like. Confident kids are less likely to be bullied.
Talking strong is delivered in a moderate volume voice with shoulders back, a stand-up-straight posture with head up and a confident look on the face. A strong voice may be a bit lower in pitch than a joking voice would be but it is definitely not shouting. Take a few moments to practice talking strong with your child by mimicking a weak voice, followed by a too-strong, nearly shouting voice and then settle in to the voice in the middle that is confident and strong.
Walking strong is important for kids to understand and practice. When teaching kids this skill, we have the kids walk around the room with us in three different ways. First, we have the kids walk the way someone who gives the appearance of a victim or under-confident person would walk. A victim body posture would be small steps, shoulders caved inward, and hunched over with a worried, meek or sad look on the face.
Next, we have kids do the exact opposite and walk with maximum swagger as if they are way too cool for school. We generally get lots of strutting around at this point in the exercise and, of course, a lot of giggling.
Then, we settle everyone into a walk that is in-between victim and swagger. Here we teach the kids to hold their shoulders back, and heads up high, but not too high. Steps are taken with purpose but no stomping. Hands are relaxed and may be put in pockets or thumbs hooked on pocket edges or lightly crossed in front for. The walk may include the tiniest bit of swagger.
By practicing the look and sound of walking and talking strong (and we encourage kids to fake-it-until-you-make-it), your child will become less likely to be the target of a bully and will build his or her inner confidence.
Click this link for an interesting Ted Talk about the research that explains why this is effective.
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
