This is a question that I (Donna) asked the kids in my social groups. We came up with a list:
- Tests and getting bad grades;
- What people think about you;
- Friendship and who to play or sit with;
- 1st day/1st time situations;
- Losing things;
- Scary things such as horror movies, the dark, and imaginary things;
- Bad events such as school shootings and natural disasters;
- Death or a family tragedy;
- Animals (fear of dogs, etc.);
- Siblings;
- Tattletales and liars;
- Being teased; and
- Doctors, dentists, and getting a shot.
Managing anxiety when worried thoughts pop into your head is done through replacing your worried thought with a coping thought. Here are some ideas for coping thoughts:
- The number one coping thought that you can use is that 95% of the things we worry about never actually happen. The ones that do happen, are usually not as bad as we imagined they were going to be.
- Remind children to focus on the facts that they have people who love them and will help them.
- Have kids tell themselves that it is just a worrying thought and not real. You can choose not to keep those thoughts in your brain. Think of them moving in and out of your brain like a train coming in and out of a train station, or a visitor that isn’t going to stay.
- Ask your child to tell you the answers to these questions: What is the worst thing that might happen? What is the best thing that could happen? What is the most likely thing that will happen?
When children agree to try strategies to manage their anxiety, they can learn a lifelong emotion management skills and can find true empowerment.
Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem. – Virginia Satir
